It comes again. Insomnia attack. I cannot sleep and I’m missing home so much. People said that home is where the heart is. Is my heart not being here or what? As I told you before, I love my new job so far. Where is my heart then?
Suddenly, I remember Han Ji Eun and Yoo Min Yeog conversation from Full House. They sit in a coffee shop and analyze people who’s passing by. Ji Eun describe a woman as an ordinary working woman, and Min Yeog told her that there’s no ordinary working woman, everyone special with the specific stories. *how come I remember all these things when I didn’t remember many other things that much more important. I guess I’m too picky for what I want to store in my head or not.*
The point is, somehow I do believe there’s an ordinary working woman out there. My mom for example. She has a very straight life. She wakes up at 4 every single day, goes to school at 6, comes back around 2, have dinner at 7, sleep around 9. And she does these routines for years. Sometimes there’s intrigue or drama at school, but routines just goes the same..
At some points I want to have that live. So simple. I won’t think about the risk that it will drives me bored someday, when it comes it’s just coming. But routines make your mind calm somehow and you just stop wonder out there on these uncertain world.
I almost did that on the last 1.5 months, not the same routines every single day, but at least 3 times a week. I wake up around 9, go to office at 9.30, come back home around 7, sleep around 12. I ride the same bus, walk the same road, almost everyday. I meet some certain persons on bus, bus stop, and the street. And some weeks later, we started to recognize each other, started to changing smile and small talk, and I found a small home right there. Maybe routines leads me home.
Maybe I’m not missing my real home that much. Maybe I’m just starving for routines that will lead me back into a safe state. Maybe I just want to be that ordinary working woman. Maybe I just want a simple life and found a cozy little home right there. Or maybe I’m missing you these much and it drive me thinking too much. I dunno which one is true.
Lead me back home.. With no alarms and no surprises, please..
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